I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
