some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
