Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
