Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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