Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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