wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
