Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
