Sponge bath it is.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
