is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
