I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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