Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
