oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
no, he came in my armpit
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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