Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he puts the penis in happiness.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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