that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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