Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
