You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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