So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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