is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
