I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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