Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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