Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
