I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
