im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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