Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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