I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
