We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
