ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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