ugly people sure do ruin things
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
