So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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