We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
