Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
