Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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