Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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