well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
