the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
