I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
