Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
