I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
