So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We need to feng shui this bitch.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
