I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
