i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize