I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
