At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
