just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
