In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
