Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.

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(352): View more from Florida

Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot

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(212): View more from New York

He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you

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(309): View more from Illinois

he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel

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(950): View more from

The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.

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(708): View more from Illinois

How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?

(847): View more from Illinois

That's $100,000 of quality education right there.

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