I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize