Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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