PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
