You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
