how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
