He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
