hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
