Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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