She just used a chaser for red wine.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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