AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize