Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
