Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
