and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
