So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
