Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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