So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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