Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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